Our Scars Tell the Story

A man died and was greeted at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter. St Peter looked the man over and then asked, “Where are your scars?”.

“What do you mean?”  The man seemed confused. “I don’t have any scars?”

St. Peter was sorrowful and responded, “Was there nothing worth fighting for?”

What has been or is worth fighting for in your life? The emotional, physical, mental, financial, relational, and spiritual scars may provide the answer.

Scars bear evidence of our trials and tribulations. Each scar represents a tale of struggle, a wound, an experience that may have inflicted pain or hurt, a process of enduring what may have been an arduous journey, and a season of patience while awaiting healing to occur.

Scars can be covered or overlooked, especially when there is a happy ending. We may minimize the price paid to achieve the desired outcome–athletes who win the game or take home the prize; actors or musicians who wow the crowd; the doctor who has found the cure; the businessperson whose company has become great. These individuals are sometimes called an overnight success, but there is most often a back story. The road to glory was characterized by a commitment to the goal, persevering through hardship, getting up when knocked down, overcoming rejection, obstacles, challenges, and surviving disappointment and heartache.

Recently my husband went through a four-month health crisis. He has a genetic defect, and this was the third time in an almost forty-year span his heart was failing. He went from enjoying an active, vibrant life to having trouble breathing when showering. He could do little more than sit on the couch. He was in discomfort, nauseated, and lost almost twenty pounds. He also fought through respiratory and viral infections which took an additional toll on his body. It was exhausting waiting until surgery could be scheduled to correct the problem. For us, there was a happy ending, again. We have scars, but we are grateful and that makes the scars easier to bear.

For some, the scars do not include a happy ending. During our challenge, two women in our family also walked with their husbands through unexpected illnesses believing they, too, would return to full health. A sudden turn for the worse and a heart attack brought an abrupt stop to these men’s battle for life. For their wives, the wounds are still raw and run deep.  A commitment to endure continues, moment by moment, day by day, week by week. They will heal but their scars will reveal great loss and suffering.

This may seem a bit depressing, but that depends on our perspective. Suffering is part of life. It comes in many shapes and sizes, but we ultimately have a choice. Do we persevere through suffering and allow God to use it for our good or throw in the towel,  missing out on what may await us on the other side?

There is a program in Zimbabwe that began out of desperation. There was a mental health crisis in the country and too few professionals to address the needs of a large population.  An idea was suggested to train older women to talk with hurting people. Grandmothers are held in high regard in this society and are seen as the keepers of the culture, the wise ones, because they have endured all that life has delivered.

The grandmothers set aside designated times to sit on friendship benches. Anyone could stop and sit and share their struggles with the grandmothers. The program has been a success and is expanding. These wonderful women are equipped to give to others, listen well, and facilitate healing. Their scars are their credentials. 

Suffering is hard, no doubt, but it does build endurance, endurance builds character, and character produces hope that there is more beyond our experience that is worth fighting for. When we commit to the journey, we come out stronger, wiser, and more compassionate. We come away with more grit for the next round.

When we stand at the pearly gates, may our scars tell the story of who and what we loved and the price we were willing to pay because of it. Run the race, fight the fight, and at the pearly gates, may you delight in hearing the words, “Well done my good and faithful servant.”