Category: Blog: Grammy at Wits End

I was recently encouraged by a great message from Dr. Swanson of First Presbyterian Church of Orlando in which he encouraged his listeners to be more than ‘authentic’ human beings. Being authentic is not a bad thing.  Who doesn’t value individuals that have reached the place where what you see is what you get; who’s talk matches their walk?  But if we stop at just being authentic, then the most we can be is the best version of ourselves. For some of us, that ain’t so good!  What if who we are now, could be transformed into someone who goes beyond being authentic and becomes even more faithful, true to the Word, encouraging, wise, loving, giving, honest, courageous, loyal, forgiving, and trustworthy? If you’re willing to engage in the process of transformation, beware; getting there can be daunting.  This kind of change requires great commitment and fortitude.  It is a hard road fraught with pitfalls and pain as we come face-to-face with our weaknesses and flaws, have to take responsibility for our shortcomings, put aside our egos, humbly acknowledge to others our frailties; and, while doing all of that, continue to love ourselves and others.  To add insult to injury, the journey will not end on this side of heaven!  But the results during our earthly stay just may be tremendous and not just for us, but for those we love, our communities and beyond.  Our God is a big God and desires to transform us in such a way that he can use us to make an impact on a very broken world.  What do we see when we look into the mirror? Can we envision more than just an authentic reflection but instead a transformed, albeit imperfect human being, that has become an even greater agent of change, healer, servant-leader and more? Mirror, mirror on the wall . . .

It’s graduation season. We’ve had the pleasure of attending a few.  Yes, the sun beats down on our backs; the speakers wax eloquently—albeit too long; and there are many mispronounced names to sit through.  These minor irritations pale in comparison to the air of excitement and pride visible on the faces of the students, parents and spectators who line the bleachers and stadium seats.  I have a renewed confidence in the next leg of humankind’s race being run well and can’t help but feel the baton has been successfully passed.  Scanning the graduates, I wonder who will be the next world-changers, the architects and artists who will create beautiful work; the scientists and educators discovering new answers to old heartaches, offering hope and transforming lives; the businessmen and women who will provide innovations and jobs; the parents who will love and raise the next generation.  There will be those who will surprise us because we never thought they could or can’t believe they didn’t. If I’m honest, I also feel concern about what challenges, threats, and obstacles will confront this eager young crowd.  And I wonder:  Will they be able to manage it all, persevere, overcome, accept and learn from failure and disappointment? Will they be able to grow in character and not succumb to greed, temptation, self-pleasure?  Will they be able to navigate the complexities of a rapidly changing and sometimes frightening world?  Will they be the protectors and take care of things, making the world a better place to live for those who follow?  Will they value what matters and challenge those things that threaten freedom, justice, dignity, morality, and truth?  Which ones won’t survive—because some of them won’t?  When I look at Facebook posts and comments, YouTube videos, editorials and talking heads, I doubt because of what I see and hear.  My view gets myopic and I can get discouraged and even fatalistic.  I then have to make a mental and emotional correction and change my pessimistic course, reminding myself that God promises us a future and there are those whom He has chosen to carry on.  Good does overcome evil, caring people will do their part, and justice does ultimately prevail. I feel thankful to all those newbies who are willing to fight the fight and run the race.  Can’t wait to see what you do!

Amy offers on-line counseling through Moody Call. For more information, please visit http://www.moodycall.org.

I am excited to announce that I am now offering on-line counseling services through a counseling networking sight called Moody Call. This service platform uses SKYPE, enabling counselors and clients to be able to see one another and talk in real time.  Please feel free to refer individuals whom you believe might benefit from this service.  For more information, please visit www.moodycall.org. 

STEPS FOR SCHEDULING AN APPOINTMENT:

1. Go to www.moodycall.org
2. Once on the site, click on the “FIND A COUNSELOR NOW” tab
3. Then, choose “GENERAL” in the drop down box
4. Enter “AMY WHITE” in the search box
5. To SCHEDULE A TIME, enter the date in on the top right box to see openings. (I am currently available Tuesday and Wednesday evenings).
6. Click on the PREFERRED TIME AND SCHEDULE either a 30 minute or 60 minute time slot

One Friday night a few weeks ago, my grandson was going to bed and told his mom he didn’t want to go to school the next day. His mom responded by saying he didn’t have to worry because it was Saturday—no school! Without missing a beat, he responded that his mom should call his friend, who would set her straight because it wasn’t going to be Saturday when he woke up.  Children are funny but this mother/son interaction raises an important question. Who or what influences us and ultimately, what is our source of truth?  Where do we go to find the right answers to the difficult questions in our ever-changing world? Growing up our parents, culture, school, the church, and other institutions and organizations defined the truth for us.  In retrospect, most of us would say that it was a mixed bag.  As adults we embraced some things we learned and rejected others.  That’s a good thing.  We need to always be open to exploring, investigating, and questioning what we believe.  The more we do so, the less likely we will be thrown off kilter by the newest fad, scheme, or trend whether it be political, spiritual, relational, financial, etc.  To not engage in rigorous testing also makes us more vulnerable to just drinking the Kool-Aid, as they say, and that is potentially deadly.  This is more than an interesting philosophical discussion. There are real-life implications here. This week I had to make an important decision and I didn’t have all the facts.  In other words, I didn’t really know ‘the truth’.  It’s fair to say I wrestled with the matter and for several nights even lost sleep over it. Wherever I landed, someone was going to experience negative consequences. In the end I believe I made the right choice.  Experience, support, and access to information helped me get there, but there’s more to it. In spite of the struggle, I did not feel scattered or inadequate in the process.  That is because I have been blessed to have so many folks invest in me and teach what God has to say about how to do life. These Biblical truths have taken years to understand and embrace. In my human frailty, I fail to consistently live by them but they have stood the test of time.  Everything I encounter and consider is put through this grid. If it doesn’t hold up, I walk away.  It’s not very popular these days to take this route.  It’s seen by some to be rigid, intolerant, and old-fashioned.  I understand that.  I have certainly witnessed how misinterpretation, twisting, and abusing the Word has caused harm, but that is a result of human error.  How about you?  What is your source of truth?  Do you feel confident that you can withstand the storms and make it out the other side?  Perhaps something to ponder?  Happy Easter.

My granddaughter is going to be 9 this week. How could that be? It seems like only yesterday I received the late night call that she would soon arrive. My oldest sister will soon be 85.  How could that be?  I remember when it was I that was 9 and going to her house for Christmas dinner.  She was a beautiful young woman then.  In my mind’s eye I see the faces that joined me at her table—there are many loved ones who are no longer with us. I could have never predicted or imagined all of the new folks who were to join our clan in the years that unfolded. Yet, in spite of changes and transitions, common threads were being tightly woven that would create an impenetrable bond holding all of us all together. From generation to generation, an unspoken commitment to be there for one another, demonstrated by the way we have together climbed the mountains, struggled in the valleys, forgiven, cared, celebrated, overcome, ‘worked it out’, or just simply laughed our sides off.  There are no perfect people among us, but we have one another’s backs. I am grateful that the sum of our family is so much greater than any one of us standing alone. In this fast-paced, social media frenzy and, perhaps, more superficial era, I hope this generation remembers the investment it takes to continue to build and maintain the stronghold that keeps a family whole.

During a more quiet moment on Christmas vacation, I watched my soon-to-be six year old grandson take a fine-pointed colored pencil and meticulously fill in the lines of an adult coloring book. He focused, chose the shade wisely, and did a great job.  For a young man his age I was impressed.  If you looked at his work, you would be too.  (You would also see that a lot more needed to be done when he jumped up from the table to run around the room with his brother and cousins).  His efforts reminded of how important the small things are in the overall scope of our lives.  During this time of year we have fun speculating on the great things that await us in the year ahead, making promises to make big changes.  While extravagant New Year’s resolutions are fun, in reality it is not usually the grandiose goals that come to fruition.  It more often true that the culmination of many small, almost mundane steps are what make the biggest difference.  I need reminded of that.  It’s sometimes hard to do the little things.  There’s nothing to celebrate, no great achievement to report, no applause from the gallery.  A retrospective view gives insight.  When I look back over the years, most of them did not include a monumental event.  Yet, over time, movement forward can clearly be seen and many positive outcomes resulted:  I love you said every night, the clean clothes, the dinner on the table, the many conversations at home and work to resolve problems, the organizing and training efforts to make things better.  It all paid off and sometimes in big ways.  Amen.  What’s your goal this year?  Dream big for sure, but don’t discount the payoff for doing the little things well.  They just may provide the springboard for that giant leap you’re waiting to take!

Bad things seem to come in clusters.  Within a two-week time period,  I became aware of a man and woman in their early thirties, friends of people I know, who died suddenly from a genetic abnormality they didn’t even know they had.  One of them was married with 2 children.  The son of a friend was diagnosed with cancer-he just graduated from college.  Several couples I know-married only a few years-are ready to throw in the towel.  Then there’s global terrorism and the overwhelming immigration issues.  So much sadness, hurt, grief, anger, and despair.  When these dark clouds loom large, how do we challenge the doom and gloom that invites us to their party?

I love my grandchildren.  I adore being with them, playing, even helping them learn what is okay and what is not.  One of my favorite times is when I am sitting with or holding one of them and I know they are feeling safe and secure in my presence.  I believe they have a sense that all is right with the world. I think it is the same with our Heavenly Father.  Psalm 16:1-2, says:  “Keep me safe, my God, for in you I take refuge. I say to the Lord, ‘You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing.’”

It’s easy to breeze past these introductory lines, disregarding their magnitude.  God is our refuge-where we can go when it feels like everything is falling apart or out of control.  We can rest in Him, knowing He has a plan and a purpose in the midst of chaos and confusion.  Verse 5 says, “Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure.”  It is in His arms that we are secure, just as if He were holding us as I hold my grandchildren.  If we believe that God is all powerful, all knowing, ever-present, never-changing, full of grace and mercy, forgiving, loving, for us and never against us, committed for eternity, never to abandon us, has a plan not only for good in our lives but for His church, then we can rest in this truth and keep in perspective the emotions that surround the challenges of the day –those which occur in every family, society, nation and culture since the world began.

The waves may come, and even knock us down, but our hope rests in the One who promises that we have an eternity with Him. That’s the end game – not the ups and downs of the times in which we are living. Psalm 16:8, “I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.”   All of us have an assignment.  We are here for a brief time to fulfill the calling God has for us and then to pass on the baton.  When tears, fear, and anxiety knock on our door, we can allow them in for a while but after a bit, we need to ask them to leave.  God has work for us to do and to entertain any departure from the journey He has given us is to lose our perspective and yield to the Evil One who delights in getting us off track.

Dealing with change and stretching ourselves is hard. My grandson recently experienced this. Although he had not previously been having trouble separating from mom and dad, kindergarten seemed daunting. The tears began the first day and continued in the days that followed. There were questions and discussions, “What seems to be the matter?” But to no avail. Different approaches were tried. . .but tears turned to sobbing. Then a deal was made. No tears for one week – you can look at the catalogue; no tears for two weeks – you can order the specially chosen prize. It seemed like it would work. Monday came. Almost . . . but tears. Tuesday came and while waiting outside the school for the moment to arrive, anxiety built. “Mom, this is so hard.” The tears were close to pushing through a horrendous effort to be stoic. Then Mom said the right words, “Grab your sister’s hand,” (three years older), “and just run!” Off they went – into the building and to the first door on the right. No tears! The teacher looked in amazement. It worked!
I think this is a prescription for us all when we’re struggling to adjust. We just need to grab the hand of someone who loves us and go forward!
“Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falls; for he hath not another to help him up.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

A few weeks ago at church, a dad sat down in the pew in front of us along with his three children. His daughter sat directly to his left and was about twelve years old. Beside her sat her brother-around ten; and then the youngest boy, seven or so. Well. . . sometimes it’s hard for little ones to pay attention. The fidgeting began and then the mischief followed. The older boy was pestering his sister. Dad didn’t seem to notice and the behavior became more distracting. I saw my husband’s arm begin to rise and he gently and discretely reached out and put his hand on the boy’s shoulder. He softly, but firmly stated “Stop.” I think it must have felt like the hand of God because the boy froze like a statue and stayed that way for the rest of the service!
It’s hard to always behave the way we’re supposed to – no matter what our age. Like the young man’s actions above, what follows our poor choice is often much indicative of where we’re headed. Consider Rahab, whom we are told was a harlot. Not the kind of woman we might think God would use. Yet, she heard about the God of the Israelites and feared Him. When Joshua sent out his men to spy on the land, they took refuge at her home. When the king called upon her to give the up, she denied they were there. She hid them on the roof top and later helped them escape. Because of her willingness to do what God had called her to do, Rahab and her family was sparred when the Israelites returned and the city and all that dwelt therein were destroyed. Rahab changed her course and is later mentioned among the saints in the Book of Hebrews, 11. 31: “By faith the harlot Rahab perished not with them that believed not, when she had received the spies with peace.”
Just as God directed Rahab’s steps, he also reaches out to get our attention when we are going down the wrong path—whether through the caring words of a friend or loved one, a prompting of our conscience by the Holy Spirit, the reading Scripture, a quiet moment while in fellowship with him, or even by a consequence that may be painful. Because He loves us so much, he then provides a window of opportunity for us to escape, to take the corrective action necessary to make our path straight and perhaps more significant suffering. When God taps us on the shoulder and tells us to “Stop,” may we heed the warning.

Wednesday night was a great night to go to Panera’s. The first 3 days of the work week had taken their toll. So, off we went. We turn on to the six-lane highway leading to our destination but it’s only a 45 mile-an hour speed limit — not so bad for Atlanta. Not far down the road a young woman pulls out from a side street, gliding through her stop sign, apparently not noticing or caring that if we were one second closer, we would have hit her broadside. I turn and look at her, she smiles in her periwinkle convertible, flips the hair off her shoulder, and smiles at me. Really? We soon turn into the shopping center and wind around to the restaurant. A woman on her phone does not glide through her stop sign, she dismisses it altogether. Again, no awareness. And so it goes. Most things we are looking forward to have obstacles along the way. The sheer love and joy of holding that soft-skinned, cuddly newborn brings unbelievable fatigue from sleepless nights; the new job that we’ve worked so hard for and will enable us to go beyond pizza for a night out, has stress and expectations; the beautiful new home gets a leaky roof or a backed up sewer line. Most of life is fraught with positives and negatives. We have to choose how much power we’ll give those things that get in our way. A familiar saying, if we focus on what we have we’ll always be grateful. If we focus on the negative, we’ll never have enough. Don’t let the yucky stuff ruin your day today!