Category: Blog: Grammy at Wits End

I recently called my daughter just to check in.  It was Sunday afternoon and she and her family were going on a picnic.  Knowing how demanding her schedule had been, I asked if it was going to be relaxing.  She thought it would be and mentioned that the hosts of the picnic had just adopted twin girls.  The girls had come into the home as foster children.  From day one this woman knew she was to be their mom and immediately started the adoption process.  My daughter went on to tell me about a recent bedtime conversation between the mom and one of the little girls.  The little girl said “I knew you were supposed to be my mommy.”  Without hesitation the mom said she, too, knew that from the first day they came into their home.  The little girl responded, “No.  I mean I knew when I was hiding under the bed hoping for a mommy who would take care of us—cause that’s when I saw your face.”   I was moved to tears.  God’s hand had been at work before anyone even knew it, bringing two little girls out of neglect, abuse and chaos into a future filled with hope and promise. None of us can predict how the years ahead will unfold for this young family, but it is clear that in the here-and- now, redemption has begun.  I was once again reminded of how God is a God of detail and has a plan for our lives, a plan for good not evil.  Whatever valley we encounter in our journey, this is so critical to remember.  Even when all we have the capacity to do is to hold on, having the faith to know that God will pull us through can carry us until the dark days are over.  I’m grateful for the faith of a little girl who asked for a new mom and for a God who showed her the face of the woman who would love her.  May we all be encouraged.

Have you ever felt alone in the midst of a crowd?  Recently I attended a conference and didn’t know anyone.  It was a strange juxtaposition – ‘separate but part of’ kind of thing.   Looking back on the experience, I realize that I allowed myself to get caught up in that existential moment and although short-lived, my thinking inched down a rather distorted path.  I began to ponder what, in the grand scheme of things, any difference one life can make-my own included.  Considering if there was any profit in past investments of time, talents and money crept into my reflections.  Determining what future choices were ahead that would lead to any worthwhile conclusions seemed futile.  Depressing, right?  Fortunately, I didn’t stay there.  Soon after the conference began I attended a plenary session and was captured by the messages of strong, well-traveled Christian leaders.   I participated in worshipful music and was blessed by words of encouragement.  As attendees were ministered to and inspired to press on, I no longer felt alone but again an integral part of the body of Christ.  I walked away in a much different place, excited about continuing to do whatever work God puts before me, for His glory and His purpose.  It happened that quickly but that shouldn’t come as a surprise, really.  God has clearly called us to be part of community and when we are disconnected, we are more vulnerable to the endless schemes of the evil one who delights in throwing us off balance.  I’ve made a commitment to have a greater sense of self-awareness.  The next time I have those feelings I will guard my thoughts but I will also reach out and connect with the people God brings my way so as to regain a right perspective.  The best defense is a great offense!

The place is New York City

It is opening night for the most anticipated Broadway production in years

You arrive at the theater and take your seat – It is a full house

Standing room only

The sound of people chattering as they wait adds to the great excitement in the room.

The lights flicker.  A hush falls over the crowd.

You don’t know how it’s done, but it feels as if you’ve been elevated, somehow transported, and are watching from a distance.

The curtain goes up.

**ACT ONE BEGINS

The Scene – The God of ancient of days is surrounded by heavenly hosts:   seraphim, cherubim, angels.

He speaks.  What a voice!  With a word, He creates the heavens and earth but they are formless and empty; next the Spirit of God hovers over the waters.  It is very exciting to watch!

“Let there be light.”  God says, and there was!  He speaks again and creates the sky.

“Let the water under the sky be gathered to one place, and let dry ground appear.”  And it was so.

Then God said “Let the land produce vegetation.”  Plants appear bearing seed according to their kinds and trees bearing fruit – trees that were pleasing to the eye and good for food. It is hard to describe the splendor before you!

Then God made two great lights – the greater to govern the day and the lesser to govern the night.  He also made the stars.   It is simply awesome!

Then God creates living creatures to fill the waters, great creatures of the sea; birds that fly above the earth; and then livestock and wild animals – to move along the ground.  The diversity is mind-boggling!

Finally, God makes man – in His image – to rule over all He had created and puts him in the garden in the east, in Eden, to work it and take care of it.

There are some instructions given.

God said to the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.”

Then God causes the man to fall into a deep sleep and takes one of his ribs and makes a woman from the rib and brings her to the man.

The man says, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman’.”  They are as beautiful as the world in which they are living.

And God blesses everything and says, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.  Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky.

I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it.  They will be yours for food.”

God sees all that He has made – and it is very good.  And the heavens and the earth were completed in all their vast array.

Then God rests from all His work and blesses the seventh day and makes it holy.

The curtain goes down.  It is the end of Act One

The audience roars with applause.

The special effects were out of this world!

**ACT TWO

The curtain goes up.  Enters the serpent.  A narrator explains that this serpent is craftier than any of the wild animals.

What is this serpent up to, you wonder?

The narrator continues:  This serpent was created before the earth was formed, but because of his pride, fell from Heaven.

He is called by many different names, which give a fuller picture of who he is and what he does. Beware of the –

Accuser, Antichrist, Beast, Deceiver, Devil, Evil One, Father of Lies , Lucifer, Power of Darkness, Roaring Lion, Ruler of This World, Satan, Tempter, Wicked One

You now see the serpent talking to the woman and you get a glimpse into his deviousness.

“Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” The woman replies, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but not from the tree in the middle of the garden or we will die.”

The serpent responds, “You will not certainly die.  For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

Ahh – this serpent is truly a deceiver . . .

Then it happens.  The woman takes the fruit and eats it.  Then she gives some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.

They are instantly aware that they are naked and they are ashamed.  They cover themselves.

Then they hear the sound of God walking in the garden and they hide.  He calls out, “Where are you?”

The man says, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”  It all begins to unravel – The blaming starts.

God is angry and delivers dire consequences.  It is clear, the time of peace and prosperity is over.  Adam and Eve are told there will be no end to the struggles and hardships ahead. Death enters their future.

This loving God provides a covering for them and the man and the woman are driven out of the Garden.   Cherubim are placed, along with a flaming sword flashing back and forth, to guard the way to the tree of life.

The mood in the theater changes as the drama continues.  You watch Cain kill his brother, Abel, and the wickedness of the human race swells until God regrets that he had made them and purposes to destroy the entire earth by a flood.

But there is hope.

A man named Noah finds favor in God’s eyes and he and his family are saved; God makes a covenant that He will never again flood the earth.  The most brilliant rainbow appears.  The audience gasps – a second chance!

Sadly, man’s sinful nature is still evident.  You see it reappear starting with Noah’s own son.  Then the Tower of Babel is built by an arrogant people; a hard lesson – they are scattered over the earth and their language is confused.

Then Abraham is tested by the most painful and challenging assignment-the sacrifice of his own son; Abraham proves to be a shining star, not without fault, but he does well; others do not.  Sodom and Gomorrah are destroyed.

And you watch:

• Isaac wrestle with God and is renamed Jacob, but he is something else.
• Joseph is betrayed by his brothers and sold; but is strong to the end.
• Moses kills an Egyptian and challenges Pharaoh.  In a most dramatic fashion, the red sea parts and Moses leads God’s people as they flee from their captivity.
• Samuel is strong but foolish and naïve.  His life ends in tragedy.
• David is a man after God’s own heart, a hero and a warrior, but he is vulnerable and makes serious, unfortunate choices.
• Then, the reign of the Kings – some who are righteous; some wicked.
• And then you watch a people returning to their homeland; sons and daughters under strong leadership, overcome obstacles, and rebuild their temple.  There is celebration and rejoicing!

The lights go down.

A spotlight draws your focus back to the heavenly realm.

Angels have come to present themselves to God.  With them is that evil Satan, who has been roaming throughout the earth.  It is evident that he has it out for one of God’s children, Job, and he suggests that Job only loves God because of what God has done for him.

Satan is given permission to take everything from Job, to test him.  Job loses his children and all that he owns, but does not turn his back on God.

Satan again has access to the throne of God.  God speaks of his servant Job: “There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil. And he still maintains his integrity, though you incited me against him to ruin him without any reason.”

Satan seeks permission to continue his attack on Job, suggesting bodily harm will cause him to turn from God.

These interactions are intriguing – a view into an entirely different dimension than the world that you know!

Satan implements his plan and great pain is inflicted on Job.  To make matters worse, his friends are unkind.  You sympathize with his suffering; he speaks:

“If only my anguish could be weighed and all my misery be placed on the scales! It would surely outweigh the sand of the sea. . .”.

The distressing conversations among Job and his friends continue until God makes His presence known.  The audience is taken aback by the magnitude of His presence, power and authority.  In no uncertain terms, God sets the record straight.  God shows grace and Job is then blessed more than even before.

**ACT TWO ENDS.

The mood in the audience is much different – it is more somber.

**ACT THREE opens and the tone changes with a delightful reading of wisdom literature and the Song of Songs, all of which capture the hearts of the listeners, who are moved and inspired.

Next you witness the maturity and character of Daniel and are awed by what transpires in the lion’s den.

The Minor Prophets foretell of what is to come.

Quite unexpectedly, a brilliant star appears –A child will be born – He will save the people!

You wonder if the Serpent will be taken care of once and for all.

And you meet this Jesus, the Christ child, born in a manger.  And you learn that his mother, Mary, ponders much in her heart.

He grows up and miracles take place – water turns to wine, a few fish feed the multitude, people are healed, dead are brought back to life.

The people follow him.  This Jesus is certainly the next King!

Jesus picks twelve to learn His truths.  He teaches – all are drawn to what he says:

• be aware of the powers and principalities of this world and their agenda
• If you believe in this me, eternity will be yours

But there are warnings of things to come.  The Evil One will continue to reap destruction, but his influence will be pervasive and the impact more severe, and horrid than can be imagined.

Jesus speaks to Peter, one of His followers.  It seems this Devil has again been working behind the scenes.  Jesus tells Peter that Satan has asked for him, but Jesus has prayed that Peter’s faith will not fail and tells Peter that he will turn back.

Turn back you wonder?  From what?

You see Jesus praying in the garden; suddenly soldiers appear – there is fighting and confusion.  Jesus is tried and unfairly condemned – beaten, put on a cross.

It is grueling to watch!  He dies like a common thief.

You question your perception, was He not the king you thought He was?

But all is not what it seems – He is raised from the dead and appears to his followers; in front of their very eyes, they watch as He is taken up into the Heavens!

His people embrace the truth – Christ is the Savior, the sacrificial lamb who has made atonement for their sins.  He is their Redeemer!

While they are all together, a sound like the blowing of a violent wind comes from heaven and the Spirit of God fills and enables them. They are sent forth in strength to continue to share the good news.  They will be His witnesses to the ends of the earth!

The best news of all – eternity awaits those who know Him – God’s creation will be restored to wholeness!

The new heaven and earth will be a place where God dwells with His children again.  He will wipe every tear from their eyes.  There will be no more death, mourning, crying or pain.  What an inheritance!

Satan, the Evil One, the Serpent, the Deceiver, will be cast into the Lake of Fire – destroyed forever!

You see the new city, which is built of jasper, sapphire, emeralds, rubies and other gems; the gates are made of pearls, and the streets of gold!  The city does not need the sun or moon, for the Glory of God gives light and the Lamb is its lamp.  There is no night and nothing impure will ever enter.

**THE CURTAIN CLOSES AND THE PLAY ENDS.

The audience jumps to their feet!  The applause is deafening and continues longer than any production you have ever seen.  Everyone is getting eager for the cast to appear.

The curtain opens, but it is as if the back of the theater has been removed – the stage is expansive – yet, there is no one on it.

You are asked to take your seat.

What’s going on?

This is the strangest thing you’ve ever seen.

Where are the performers?

The theater becomes eerily quiet.

The audience is told the play is, in fact, not over; but the characters have changed.

The new cast is comprised of those of you now sitting in the theater.  You will have a key role in how the drama continues.

There is one thing though; everyone has a decision to make; you must choose whom you will follow – either Jesus or Satan.

You may have additional opportunities along the way to decide, but you may not.

It is in your best interest to choose now.

You don’t like this turn of events and decide to leave the theater.

What a disappointing ending to the best play you have ever seen!  You move toward the exit.

But wait, the doors are gone?

You look around.  There is no way out.

You are forced to either stay in the audience or step onto the stage.  What will you decide?

What if this story were true and you were an audience member?

I am assuming that all of us have made a decision as far as whom we will choose.

I hope it’s the right decision.

But have we fully considered our role in finishing the story?

CCM’s vision is ‘an authentic Christian community that reflects the love of Christ’.

If we have not fully committed to stepping onto the stage, then we are merely a passive audience member.

In that position, we cannot contribute toward CCM realizing its vision, let alone fulfilling God’s call in our own lives.

God is not finished with His work in this realm and the Evil One still roams the earth seeking whom he can devour.

Scripture tells us to choose this day whom we will serve.

IT’S NOT ENOUGH JUST TO BE A KNOWER

WE NEED TO BE A BELIEVER

IT’S NOT ENOUGH JUST TO BE A BELIEVER

WE NEED TO BE A DOER OF THE WORD AS WELL

THE NEXT ACT IS ABOUT TO BEGIN. . . ARE YOU

So, I was thinking . . .

• Life is dynamic, be willing to accept change or you’ll be left behind – that can be lonely
• Being dependable will greatly determine the opportunities ahead
• Trust should be earned and not randomly given
• Some people are difficult and don’t ever change
• Some people are difficult and can change – not learning the difference is pain repeated
• Little or no time should be given to people who make us cry
• Having an attitude really is a choice – usually a bad one
• The sound of a child’s laughter can change your life, but you have to take the time to hear it
• Expect the unexpected – you can’t plan it but you can prepare for it
• Unconditional love does not mean life is perfect, it means you’re in it together
• Injustice happens – work through it as best you can and move on
• Being victimized is not ultimately what makes us a victim; yielding to the label does
• If we don’t base our worth on the knowledge that we are created, loved, accepted and forgiven by the only true God, it’s all up for grabs
• Feelings are important; understand them and give them only what they’re due
• It is most often our choices that ultimately determine the outcome – choose wisely
• When you are coveting something better, remember when you could not afford a pizza
• God will use all things for our good, but we have to be willing to let Him
• Anger creates an impenetrable fortress and then kills from within
• If it is outside of our control, don’t spend too much time thinking about it
• Fear should merely be a tap on our shoulder to get our attention; nothing more
• There are consequences to sin – pay your dues, forgive yourself,  let the regrets go, and understand sometimes things can never be the same again
• Grief endures for a night, but joy really does come in the morning
• Transparency can feel vulnerable, but is a much lighter burden than keeping secrets
• Honesty is always appropriate but openness can be untimely
• Anything that distracts us from pursuing what God has called us to is a weapon in Satan’s armor
• We’re not all the same; it is pointless to search for someone just like you
• When you get lost, seek out the right person to show you the way home
• Always make sure there is toilet paper on the role before you sit down
• We are all flawed human beings – get over yourself
• Redemption was bought with a price and love is very expensive

One of the most tragic maladies I observe is something I’ll term “I can’t endureitis”.  Its symptoms are profound:  giving up, depression, self-harm, self-hatred, hatred of others, detachment, self-absorption, hopelessness, lifelessness.   It often occurs in the midst of a struggle (intense, complicated, self-inflicted, or enduring as it may be),  when what initially began as something that occurred ‘to’ a person seems to transform itself into a living organism that invades body, mind and spirit, and ultimately consumes a life that still has value and purpose.  Waiting to die becomes the end game, even if that death is years down the road.   I, and those whom I love, have stood on the fringes of succumbing to this disease.  Consider David’s words in Psalm 130:  “Out of the depths I cry to you, Lord; Lord, hear my voice. Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy.”  I read this and I think perhaps David was there.  But even if that is so, he certainly didn’t stay.  Hear his words as he continues: “I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in His word I put my hope.  I wait for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning.” In the midst of his suffering, David made a decision.  He turned outside of himself and kept his eyes on the one who could redeem, rescue and restore.  I have been privileged to stand on the sidelines and watch as those with terminal cancer remain shining lights while walking through the shadow of death; people whom have endured great injustice and have choosen to show mercy and grace; victims who move forward in strength, refusing to continue in weakness, and take back what was stolen, and I am inspired.  My prayer is that we will, like David, not yield to the burdens of this life or the schemes of the Evil One, and endure, for “we know that suffering produces perseverance;  perseverance character; and character, hope.  And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”  Romans 5:4-5

Hearts and chocolate and diamonds – oh my!  These are but a few of the love languages of February.  A month to convey affection and messages of love and affirmation.  I enjoy it all and delight in spreading warm wishes to those who just may be in need of a lift in spirits while attempting to fight off the winter doldrums.  Enjoyable as it all is, if our expressions of love to one another are not more deeply rooted, the impact is fleeting, much like a beautiful cake.  It is ordered for an important occasion with detailed specifications, usually crafted with roses, colorful characters or multi-tiered.  While we may appreciate it, soon after it is devoured it is also forgotten.  Yet, if we know the baker and the hours of preparation, time and expense behind the finished product, the cake becomes a representation, a symbol,  of a meaningful relationship that will be remembered long after the cake and the celebration ends.

I am persuaded that love is a word that is too carelessly tossed around in our current-day culture.  Like so many other things, it has become superficial and often cheap.  We say, “I love it,” when we bite a cookie or try on a new pair of shoes.  I am as guilty as everyone else.  When we search the Scriptures, however, the love defined therein is much more hard-won.  It is produced by years of commitment, shouldering one another’s burdens, fighting in the trenches together, and learning how to be kind in the midst of disappointment, anger, and yes, even resentment.  At its foundation is grace, forgiveness, and mercy, combined with a willingness to be boldly direct, accountable, and clear in communicating needs and expectations.  It requires consistent initiation of mundane comments:  “Good morning,” and “How are you?” (and meaning it).  It calls for stepping back and considering our own selfishness, short-comings, and sin.  It is a love that will never be absolutely perfect or finished in this life time – yes, at times it will seem inadequate.  I am convinced, though, that if we are willing to pay the cost of loving another in this fashion, we come close to what God intended for His people.  For those who love us in this way, and for those whom we love in kind, there is a sense of loving the other – really loving the other – from the inside out, warts and all.  It is expensive, but what a blessing when we are willing to invest and reap its rewards.  I think it is then that we also begin to see a glimpse of what God’s perfect love for us must be like.  We indeed have much to look forward to when we reach the loving arms of our Father.

I have been enjoying Downton Abby.  The acting is good, the casting perfect, the characters believable and the story line interesting – that all helps.  But there is more.  I feel good when the show is over, regardless of what happened in the drama.  I think this is so because in spite of a few scoundrels, I experience people in trusting relationships and being valued and respected by one another.   On a psychological level, I don’t feel exploited.  I haven’t been immersed in scenes that take me to a place I don’t want to go.  The series stands in sharp contrast with much of what is reflected in films and television today. I am not saying that we should close our eyes to pain, suffering, injustice and grief.  I am against looking at the world through rose-colored glasses.  I’m a realist.  I’ve walked through difficult circumstances with other people and been through dark times.  I know that bad things happen and believe we are called to work toward overturning evil and the consequences of sin.  What I am suggesting is that while trials, temptations and trouble will continue to plague us, elevating our view of one another just might reverse this cultural rot we seem to be experiencing.   Here’s where it gets tricky, though.  It’s not enough to decide to be nicer, to value others more, to reject the cultural norms.  Loving God and loving others is a high-calling.  Real and consistent change can only occur when we fully grasp who God is, are willing to receive His love, forgiveness, and redemption, and choose to allow the Holy Spirit to continually work in us.  This assignment is not for the faint of heart but the war between good and evil never is.

I’ve seen video covers in the Blockbuster stores – the kind that you glance at for a second and quickly turn away.  I’ll just mention dental torture and leather face masks – get the picture.  There are sections I skip over in novels to avoid creating disturbing images in my mind – those descriptive words used to relate what dire circumstances are about to befall the characters I’ve grown to care about.  I won’t watch one particular TV show where the protagonist goes to great lengths to inflict insurmountable pain on his victims.  These behaviors are indicative of a struggle that I think we all have.  I’m not talking about just being frightened.  That’s part of it, but beyond that, I think we enter into an awareness that pure evil exists.  This is an unsettling experience we work to avoid.  We can’t always.  Newtown is one of those times.  It is so horrendous, that I find myself being willing to go only so far in my thoughts and emotions.  I can do that because I’m watching from a distance.  There have been times in my life when I didn’t have that luxury. One thing I know is true, while pure evil does exist and the pain and trauma it brings are not to be minimized or disregarded, evil does not have to have the last word.  We have the power of the One behind us who can and will bring life out of the ashes.  Those whom we love depend on it and the Evil One deserves nothing less. May we all pray toward that end for the families who have unwillingly been catipulted into the battle between good and evil.  

‘Tis the season’. . .how to finish it?  To be jolly. . .to rejoice. . .to give.  The choices are many, but for me no additional verbiage is needed for tis the ‘season’ I love.  The season to reflect over why we celebrate to begin with: “Joy to the world, the Savior comes!”  The season to draw from the deeply imbedded video clips found in some recess of our minds of seasons past,  images of being six, sixteen, or thirty-six; envisioning those who sat beside us at the Christmas table, who was new to the family, or who was absent or gone.  The season to engage in traditions that bind us together and warm our hearts to the core, inducing a sentimentality that envelops us like a favorite blanket on a cold winter’s night.  It is also the season to remember that ‘for everything there is a season’ and try to appreciate, encourage, and be grateful for this season.  There are some folks I know who have cause to wonder if it is their last season.  I pray for them.  I think about them.  I ache for them but hope they are confident of what is next.  We are created with immortality in our hearts and so often struggle to come to terms with the reality that we are here for only a ‘season’, be it however long or short.  It is also the season to express love – to all those who came before us, all those who are with us, and those who will come after. May we never grow weary of Tiny Tim’s words:   “God Bless Us,  Every One!” Tis the Season, and I, for one, plan to relish it! 

I remember a time, be it long ago, when no inhibitions or responsibilities limited my freedom to indulge, yes even escape in the luxury of a lazy afternoon’s dreaming — of romances and adventures, perhaps awaiting me around the very next corner.  A young girl named Mary may have done the same thing as she thought about Joseph and their future together; that is until Gabriel appeared to her.  If I put myself in Mary’s place, an angel standing beside me would be surreal all by itself, but how would I have responded to the news that God’s Spirit was to come over me, I would supernaturally conceive, and then give birth to a child?   How would I explain that to the ladies at the corner market?  That wasn’t all, this child was going to be special.  He would be called the Son of the Most High and his kingdom would never end.  Mary did something that we would probably say was crazy.  According to her cousin Elizabeth, Mary believed all of it!  This Christmas, may we have the faith of Mary to embrace God’s calling in the here and now and try to grasp the fulfillment of the promise of an eternity with the Most High.  Someday it will happen.  The God who does not lie says so and I want to be there!